Your Perfect 'Type'?

Is There a Perfect Match For My Personality?

There is a strong link between personality 'type' and relationship satisfaction. Sharing the same personality 'type' often allows for greater communication and this is perhaps the single most important component of a satisfying relationship. Individuals of the same or similar 'type' often find it easier to 'get' one another.

The Myers Briggs Type Indicator personality assessment tool allows individuals to discover their unique personality 'type'  and the 'type' of their intimate partners. As mentioned in earlier articles, What is an MBTI® Personality Assessment and How Will It Help Me? ,  'personality type' is determined by having individuals provide their best guess at self-reporting their 'type' and by answering an online questionnaire. Personality 'types' are represented by 4 letters which represent preferred ways of interacting with our world. Couples can share some, none or all 4 preferences.

Who's with Whom?

Quite often the more preferences shared by a couple, the easier it can be to communicate. Shared preferences are reported by Tieger and Tieger as follows:

• 10% of couples share all 4 preferences (same personality 'type')
• 20% of couples share 3 preferences
• 35% share only 2 preferences ( most common)
• 25% share only 1 preference
• 10% have no preferences in common

What About Opposites Attract?

The old concept the 'opposites attract' is often true, especially when it comes to our love relationships. People are often attracted to their opposite. This seem to be particularly true when it comes to the Extraversion/Intraversion preferences and the Judging/Perceiving preferences. It would appear that we are naturally attracted to individuals who are somewhat different from ourselves in these personality areas. It is almost as if we feel 'rounded out' by partnering with our opposite. Each of the partners supplying the strengths that the other is missing.

So Why Does My Opposite Drive Me Crazy?

Well, it appears that while we are attracted to opposites in some aspects of personality, we are most attracted to those who have similar ways of observing and collecting information from the world around them(Sensing/Intuition) as well as those individuals who make decisions in a similar fashion (Thinking/Feeling). These dichotomies are  like the cornerstones of communication. They represent how we understand the world, formulate and communicate our thoughts, move towards conclusions and make decisions. It is no wonder then, that sharing these aspects of 'personality type'  might prove beneficial.

Are We Doomed If We Don't Share Enough Preferences?

Of course not! Still, it shouldn't come as a great surprise to anyone that individuals who report having  successful relationships often do share the same letter preferences for collecting information and making decisions. These individuals feel on the same 'wave-length' and often do settle down together. However, that does NOT mean that individuals with fewer or no preferences in common can't still have great relationships. What is truly of paramount importance is a willingness to understand your partner's needs, as well as your own, and to make a concerted and caring effort to communicate these needs in ways that each personality 'type' can understand. Communication might require more effort, but it is never impossible when partners make it a priority.

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