Opposites Attract...Then What?
The next few articles will concentrate on pairings of opposite 'types'. We are often attracted to our opposites because they seem to provide the ingredients missing from our personalities and somehow together we feel more complete. However, as with many relationships, what initially attracts us to our mate can often become the very thing that causes difficulties later on.Over the next few weeks, I will highlight the 8 opposite pairings possible out of the 16 MBTI personality 'types'. You may recognize you and your partner as a couple in these pairings, or may find your partner in a subsequent article. It's all food for thought with a goal to create greater understanding of each other.
Remember, all relationships require effort to keep them strong and positive and that even wonderful relationships can be destroyed by neglect.
When it comes to matters of the heart, there are no hard and fast rules or formulas that when applied, guarantee the desired outcome.
ENTP (The Visionary) and ISFJ (The Nurturer)
Like all couples whose 'types' are opposite on all of the 4 dichotomies (E-I, S-N, T-F, J-P), this pairing has much to offer one another, much to learn from one another and much to face in terms of challenges to the relationship.
ENTP- The Visionary
Charming, outgoing, great communicators with an ability to see the big
picture, ENTPs exhibit great curiosity and enthusiasm. They demonstrate
enormous confidence and have a wonderful ability to get people excited about
their ideas. ENTPs tend to be very good at 'reading' other people and are
people pleasers with a need to be liked. Often occupying center stage, they
have the 'gift of the gab', enjoy storytelling and humour, and yet have a very
pragmatic and logical side with a capability to analyze situations and make
politically expedient decisions. ENTPs are usually able to change directions
quickly if the situation calls for it and although aware of the rules of the game,
are masters at bending them to suit their purposes. Occasionally, ENTPs can
have difficulty making decisions or sticking with them and some run the risk of
becoming chronic procrastinators. They may also develop a reputation for being
inconsistent and talking more than doing.
ISFJ- The Nurturer
9-14% of the population
8.1% men;
19.4% women
Thoughtful, conscientious and devoted individuals, ISFJs are
painstakingly accurate with facts and details. Generally, they enjoy collecting
data that has a practical purpose and have excellent memories especially when
remembering dates and events involving people that they love. Quiet, reserved,
sensitive and sympathetic, ISFJs are good listeners who take their
responsibilities towards others very seriously. Most uncomfortable with
confrontation, they will try to accommodate others in order to maintain
harmony. They are very loving but can be very firm disciplinarians. ISFJs are
present oriented and can have difficulty seeing the big picture and future possibilities
since they are rooted more in specific lessons and knowledge learned through experience.
Familiar surroundings, predictable routines and enjoying activities that are
planned well in advance bring enjoyment to ISFJ's.
As Partners
Joys
Generally speaking, this opposite 'type' pairing is attracted to one another
because of their many differences. ENTPs are attracted to the calm, nurturing,
responsible, steady energy of the ISFJ's, and ISFJs find the 'anything is
possible', fun-loving, energetic style of the ENTPs exciting. ISFJs help
their enthusiastic ENTP partners become more grounded and attentive to specifics,
details, organization and follow-through. They provide important traditional
qualities to their family life, creating comfortable homes, preparing for
family celebrations and holidays and taking a realistic and down-to-earth
approach to life. They are usually extremely supportive of their mates and
attentive to the needs of their mates and their families. ENTPs help
their more reserved ISFJ partners loosen-up, explore broader horizons, consider
new ideas and experiences, meet new people and have fun. They bring excitement,
humour, fun and a joy of life to the quiet, reserved world of the ISFJ.
Challenges
Because of their many differences, this partnership has obstacles to
overcome. Understanding these obstacles and making necessary accommodations to
ensure these obstacles don't become relationship breakers is important for the
health and happiness of this partnership. ENTPs and ISFJs have very different
interests which can pull them in different directions. The ENTP's need for excitement,
overcoming unexpected challenges, meeting new people, engaging with the outer
world, discussing new ideas and possibilities and exploring every curiosity,
can become extremely draining on the more traditional, quiet ISFJ.
Since ISFJs tend to be the more structured and routine oriented in the
partnership, often the bulk of major responsibilities like finances, managing
the home, and setting and upholding family rules falls on their shoulders.
Resentment can build if they feel that their efforts are being undermined
by the more casual approach of their ENTP partners with regards to keeping
receipts; putting things away in the proper places; and, upholding rules with
their children.
Often at odds, may be the social needs of this couple. Boredom may set
in for the active ENTP partner, who is always ready to drop whatever they are
doing to participate in a fun or interesting opportunity. If their ISFJ mate
doesn't make efforts to become involved occasionally in the exciting social
world of their ENTP partner, they may be seen as controlling, boring and disinterested.
This too, can build resentment in the partnership.
